Recharging vs Charging Forward

Intent to turn in early and get caught up on my sleep, I instead got drawn into a writing vigil last night. When I finally did fall asleep at around 4:30am, I had written yet another poem. I had been meditating on the sheer absurdity of the English language for having only one word for 'love' and only one word for 'pain', and my thoughts became this.

It is 12:07am. We are seven days into the new year and I have already written two acceptable works of poetry. This is encouraging considering the fact my total output for 2008 is a mere 10 works (discounting the Fire Sermon canto of "Rewriting the Wasteland" that I put some work in on). I am very pleased to have some creative writing to my credit in the young year, but I wish I had been motivated to put the lid down on Chapter 4 instead. I have a very intense fear of the law of diminishing returns. I doubt I'll lose interest in David and Claire's story, but the process of writing is intensely draining and I can see myself putting the project away for months on end, using the excuse that I need to recharge. I do not need to recharge. I need to charge forward. I need to prove to myself that I can complete a large, important work of fiction. I need to do it for Claire and for David, for MarLo and Decker, and Elizabeth and Dr. Feigner.

Tonight, instead of working on Chapter 3, I am mailing off poetry submission to the Indiana Review. I think my works are more contemplative and less form intensive than they generally accept, but I'm going to send them anyway to give my home journal the right of first refusal, so to speak. The editors of IR "admire works of risk, ambition, and scope". That doesn't necessarily describe my work. I would have to say they're more works of clarity, introspection and elevation. I am sending "Balm", "Advent", "A Wintry Mix", "Love and the Doppler Effect" and "Van Gogh Eyes". I added a few words onto a line of "Balm" to help smooth a rough stanza break and changed the title and some wording in "Advent". "A Wintry Mix" is actually "A Wintry Mix and "I Become a Blizzard" combined and revised. When I place my works one on top of another in one document, it is apparent that I write often on the change of season, nature, science and emotion.